Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Big List of Lists

It's the Official 50 Books 2007 List Challenge! Here's how it works: You give me a list title. I will compile this list of list titles and keep a running list here on this post. (See? Things are getting excitingly meta already.) Each week, or as often as I feel like, I will run with one of these lists in my own imitable way. You, as always, are welcome to join in.

Trust me. It's going to be AWESOME.

Here's the list-in-progress:
  • Worst Books Ever, or Five Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back
  • Books I Have Lied About Reading
  • Books I Have Lied About Liking
  • Book-to-Movie Adaptations Where, Frankly, the Movie Was Better
  • Books I Used to Love, of Which I Am Now Ashamed
  • Best Book Titles of All Time
  • Books That I Expected to Be Dirtier
  • My Real Guilty-Pleasure Reads, and Not the Decoys I Talk About Openly
  • Books You Must Read Before You Die, but Would Rather Die Than Read
  • Books I Refused to Read for a Long Time Because too Many (or the Wrong) People Recommended Them
  • Books I Read Only After Seeing the Movie
  • Books I Most Often Try to Persuade Other People to Read
  • Authors I Wish Had Written More Books Already
  • Overused Plot Points That Drive Me Nuts
  • Books I Have Lied About Hating
  • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Plots Gone Wild
  • Books in Which I Liked the Secondary Characters Better Than the Main Character, or Books in Which I Wanted to Beat the Main Character Senseless with a Tire Iron
  • Books I Lied About Reading and Then Wrote an A+ Term Paper On
  • Books I Lied About Reading/Liking Solely to Look Smart/Pretentious
  • Books I Wish I Hadn't Finished, or Worst. Ending. Ever.
  • Books I Read after Oprah Recommended Them
  • Books I Will Never Read Precisely Because Oprah Recommends Them
  • Literary Characters I've Developed Crushes On
  • Books I Only Read to Impress Other People
  • Books I Consider It My Duty as a Parent to Shield My Child from Reading
  • Books I've Caught Rusty Reading That Made Me Lose Respect for Him
  • Parenting Books That Are Full of Shit
  • Best Books Not to Read from Start to Finish, or Best Bathroom Books
  • Books I Shouldn't Admit Made Me Cry Like a Baby
  • Books I Only Read for the Title
  • Books I Re-Read When I Have Nothing Else to Read
  • Knee-Jerk Recommendations
  • Books People Keep Recommending That, Frankly, Sucked Ass
  • Books My Teacher Made Me Read That I Really, Really Liked
  • Books My Teacher Made Me read That Made Me Question the Value of My Education
  • Books That Made Me Want to Have Sex with at Least One Character
  • Books They Let Children Read for Reasons Passing Human Understanding
  • Books I Actually Read but Got a Poorer Grade on the Paper I Wrote on the Subject Than My Best Friend Who Did Not Read the Book
  • Books I Read Because the Author Looked Hot
  • Books I've Read Aloud
  • Books I Use as a Booster Seat for My Child
  • Books I Love Even Though the Last Twenty Pages Made No Damn Sense
  • Books I Have Written a Prequel/Sequel to in My Own Head
  • Books I Keep Meaning to Read, but Then I See Something Shiny
  • Books I Will Go to the Mattresses for, Even Though I Hate the Writer
  • Books You Must Read Because You Must Mock
  • Worst How-To Books Ever
  • Books That Were on the 'To Be Read' List the Longest
  • Books I Hated Having to Read in School, But Love Now
  • Books Whose References Have Worked Their Way into My Household Lexicon
  • Books I've Never Read But Have Read the Cliffnotes Version
  • Books I've Read Because I Liked Their Cover Design/Font
  • Books Which, When It Comes Right Down to It, I Would Have No Problem Burning
  • Books Which I Read Only for the Sex Scenes
  • Books I Pretend to Like So People Won't Think I'm a Snob, or Books I Pretend to Like So I Won't Hurt Your Feelings
  • Books with Covers So Embarrassing You Can't Read Them in Public
  • Books You Keep Checking out of the Library and Then Not Reading
  • Books That Gave You a Hangover
  • Books You Are Sorry You Didn't Read Decades Ago
  • Books I Have Read at Least Four Times
  • Books I Adored as a Child But My Son Thinks Are Boring
  • Books That Friends Gave Me That Make Me Question Our Friendship
  • Books I Bought More Than Once Because I Forgot I Already Owned It
  • Books My Friends Should Give Back: It Was Just a Loan
  • Books That I Have Spilled Food On
  • Books That Make Me Eat While I Read
  • Books I Ruined By Reading Them in the Bathtub
  • Books I Read, Then Tried to Imitate While Writing My Book
  • Books I Will Never Read but Have a Great Title
  • Weird and Wonderful Autobiographies Given to Me by the Author
  • Books That Made Me Wish I Was Drunk and/or High While Reading It
  • Books That Should Be Made into Movies
  • Books That I Have Physically Torn Up Because They Were So Bad
  • Books That Make Me Highlite Again
  • Books That People Need to STFU About Already
  • Movies That Would Have Been Better as Books
  • Books I Read Because They Were Alluded to in Other Books
  • Books That I Would Tear the Pages out of and Use in a Collage
  • Books That Make Me Wish I Could Have Lunch with the Author
  • Books That Have Had an Impact on Me and Changed Me or the Way I Think in Some Fundamental Way
  • Books I Used to Own, Then Got Rid of Without Ever Reading, but Now Wish I Still Had Because I've Since Heard They Were Good
  • Books I Only Picked Up Because the People/Person on the Cover Was Hot
  • Books I Only Picked Up Because the Cover Was Sparkly (don't judge me!)
  • Books I Only Read Because They're on Every Must-Read List in Existence, Didn't Like at the Time, but Later Grew to Appreciate
  • Books I Keep Re-reading, but Only After Enough Time Has Passed That I've Forgotten the Ending (Which Means I Must Not Like Them THAT Much and Should Therefore Not Even Bother)
  • Books You've Returned to the Bookstore Because They Blew
  • Books You Hope Oprah Never Recommends Because You Love Them and Don't Want Them Ghettoized by Her Sheep-like Audience
  • Books That I Have Dreamed Myself Into
  • Books That I Read Far Too Young. Why Didn't My Parents Stop Me?
  • Books That Affect My Emotional State for Days After Finishing
  • Books That I Was Sad to Finish Because I'd Never Get to Read Them Again for the First Time
  • Books a Man Has Given Me That Made Me Swear to NEVER Go on Another Date with Him EVER Again
  • Best Books to Read on Public Transportation
  • Best Books to Take to Jury Duty
  • Books I Have Read for Work and Enjoyed/Not Enjoyed
  • Books You Have Panned in Your Blog
  • Books I Have Hated So Much I Have Alienated Nice People (Who for Some Reason Have the Incredibly Poor Taste to Like These Books)
  • Books That Are Better Read While Travelling and/or Away from Home
  • Books You Feel Compelled to Own in Two Versions (A Beat-Up Paperback You Read Over and Over and a Handsome Leather Version You Keep on the Shelf)
  • Food That Makes You Think of a Specific Book/Character/Author Every Time You Eat It
  • Best Places to Read a Book
  • Favorite Thing to Do (Other Than Reading) While Reading
  • Books You've Put Notes in (or Added to Existing Notes) Warning Other Readers Not to Bother
  • Books You Read Despite Finding Notes from Previous Readers Warning You Not to Bother (and Then Wished You Hadn't)
  • Books That Are So Terrible, Either in Style or Content, That They Inspire You to Turn Them Over or Put Another Book in Front or on Top of Them at Bookstores in a Guerrilla-Style Effort to Keep Others from Reading Them
  • Books Too Depressing to Finish
  • Books with WAY Too Many Characters
  • Books I've Borrowed and Never Returned
  • Books Bought for Me by Loved Ones
  • Books That Live in the Bathroom
  • Series You Used to Like but Have Now Given Up On
  • Books You Wish You Had Written That Make You Question Why You Think You Could Be a Writer
  • Books You Put Off Reading Because You Were Afraid They Weren't Going to Live Up to Your Expectations
  • Books You Continued to Read Even Though You Would Have Rather Eaten Glass
  • Stupid Books That I Have Read and Forgotten but Would Totally Read Again (Despite the Fact That They Are, As I've Already Mentioned, Stupid)
You're excited now, I can tell. Let's be excited together. Chuck your list idea(s) in the comments section and I'll keep updating this master list as we go. Remember: no list idea is too grand or too trivial. In fact, the grander and more trivial, the better.

Let's keep the list love alive in '07! Boo-ya! Also, let's keep "boo-ya" alive in '07! BOO-YA!

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