Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Toilet Blog

The following entry is dedicated to Glark.

I had this idea the other day, that it would be cool (according to my rather specialized definition of "cool") to have a blog whose entries would be composed only while the blogger was sitting on the toilet.

The entry topics wouldn't have to be about what toilet-related activities the blogger was engaged in, but would instead just convey the stream of consciousness one experiences in those few (or long) moments one spends blankly staring at the wall opposite. Some entries would be enticingly brief. Others, tragically long.

Then I thought, man, this is SUCH a great idea. This blog MUST already exist. So I did a Google search for "toilet blog" (should I, in the interest of full disclosure, also reveal that I did this Google search while on the toilet? Isn't this why laptops and wireless modems were invented? Is it too late for me to take this piece of information back?), and believe it or not, THIS BLOG DOESN'T EXIST. There is currently no toilet blog that I could locate (at least not in my mercifully short search).

Sure, a blogger named
Mark Maynard had a similar idea, only his involved having a blog "guestbook" in his bathroom, but to my knowledge his idea is still in the theoretical phase.

And a blogger named
Wendy Cheng caused a semi-major flap in southeast Asia when she wrote an entry about something to do with sharing public washrooms with the handicapped. If nothing else, this is worth checking out just to see all the egregiously overwrought headline puns, including "All flushed over toilet blog" and "Toilet blog whips up more stink." I looked to see if anyone used "Toilet blogger full of crap" -- which is the header I would have used -- but apparently they missed that one. Their loss.

And another blogger, at a site called
Verbatim, wrote my favourite find in my search, an entry entitled "Selected Recent Entries from My Toilet's Blog," which includes posts such as this:
Thursday April 7
I've had it! I'm sorry, but this is just too much. I'm just as jazzed about potty-training as the next toilet, but HELLO? She still needs help with the wiping, OK? Sorry, I just had to vent.
And some company has some sort of informational blog about their composting toilets, called Envirolets (note to overly earnest people everywhere: you are not good at inventing catchy brand names), but I died of boredom and came back reincarnated as a hippie after just reading the brief description of the site on Google, so I didn't bother clicking.

So there you go. Toilet blog. I give it to you. Run with it.


Low Flying Angel said...

Ewwww gross, but still funny though :-D

Em said...

Jay-zus. It was only yesterday when I went to the bathroom on three seperate occasions and wondered if it was poor computer etiquette to take my laptop in there with me, if only to keep my lap warm. The only real pleasure to be taken in prolonging something that normally takes under a minute would be telling all the idiots on IM to "guess where I am RIGHT NOW!"

Anonymous said...

Another fun google search term for you: humanure

Yeah, it's absolutely as gross as it sounds.

Anonymous said...

Heh! Just last night I was at a dinner party where there was an extensive discussion involving toilets and books (if not blogs), based on my friend's installation of a giant bookcase in her toilet. From that conversation came the information that a friend of a friend does indeed have a guestbook in their toilet (though not an electronic one).

Joie de Vivre said...

Pure. Genius.

You are an undiscovered treasure. All it takes is one idea to make it big, right? Think of all the blog ads: fiber supplements, cleaning and sanitizing products, "feminine care items", deodorizers! Gold mine, baby! Gold mine!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I have a tilet blog because I am the person who always asks first:"where is the toilet" Unfortunately my blog is in Finnish...

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

How about a web site that only sells toilet related items?

Check out


Anonymous said...

OOps the link didn't work



Anonymous said...

Interesting idea. A stream of consciousness is pretty hard to capture. Using a laptop won't work because you have to focus to some degree on the typing. Perhaps it could be done with an audio recorder assuming you train yourself to speak what you are saying out loud, then transcribe it afterward. Then there's the "are people around" really seems like a no-win situation.

trex said...

You are awesome, I just googled toilet blog and found this! Please start a toilet blog!

harinder said...

Mobile toilet
Mobile Toilets are self contained, sleek, movable, trailer mounted with separate section for Male and Female. These are designed to meet the sanitation needs of urban as well as rural areas.

harinder said...

Mobile toilet
Mobile Toilets are self contained, sleek, movable, trailer mounted with separate section for Male and Female. These are designed to meet the sanitation needs of urban as well as rural areas.

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