ETC: Eight Things About Who? Me?

It's funny. I've noticed this "Eight Things About Me" meme floating around, and without ever thinking I'd be tagged, I've idly wondered what eight random things I'd be able to tell, since sometimes it feels like I've already spilled my entire life out on the internet.

And then Heidi tagged me. As it turns out, I haven't told everything.

1. I worked as an artist's model when I was in grad school. That means I got buck nekkid for money. Easiest job I ever had.

2. I got married when I was 22, and we'll be celebrating our fifteenth anniversary of wedded codependent bliss in a couple of weeks. (How can you not still love a man who describes your thinking matter as "your sweet and juicy chess-club brain"?) No, I wasn't knocked up when we got hitched. Yes, we still plan to tell Sam he was a shotgun baby.

3. I can eat way more chocolate than you. Don't even try to argue about this with me. You're wrong, and debating the fact demeans us both.

4. When I was seven, I liked to practise my tightrope act on the top of the fence around our pig pen. Once I fell down -- spectacularly, I might add -- and did a full body flop on the wrong side of the fence. I'm here to tell you that being entirely covered in shit isn't as bad as it sounds. So, you know, you can cross it off your list of things to dread.

5. I have wee hands and feet. I know this because strangers keep pointing it out to me.

6. I once took a two-week road trip with my best friend Suzi. We started in Vancouver and somehow ended up in Hawaii. Our adventures included a redneck in a hottub, a side trip to a desert party outside LA, and bellydancing in a Waikiki night club's dance contest. (Our runner-up prize: a bunch of dried meat products.) It's a long story.

7. My extremely judgmental side wages constant battle with the side of me that wants to be really tolerant and open-minded. Being a parent has been a severe test. On one hand, the first rule of parenting is learning to accept that every kid is different and every parent is different and that every kid-parent relationship is different and therefore what works for you and your kid may not work for another parent and kid and you need to just let go and accept that other parents know what's best for their kids even if it doesn't seem like that to you. And then there's the part of you that, despite knowing all that, still thinks putting Coca-Cola in an eighteen-month-old's bottle is just plain fucking stupid.

8. I think gay male porn looks like way more fun than straight porn.

BONUS: Random thing #9. I never stop being incredulous when I go into people's bathrooms and discover that they keep no reading material there. What if I need to be in there for a while? What if I need to make a snap judgment of your character? You've given me NOTHING.

This is the point in the festivities when I'm supposed to tag eight people, but oho, I have been down that painful road before. So rather than tag eight individuals, I tag... EVERYBODY. If you're still reading, you're obligated to share eight random things about yourself, either here or on your own site. (If it's the latter, don't forget to post a link here so I can read it.)