Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Thoughts Thunk While Riding the Bus

"I wonder why the weirdos on the bus are so much more considerate than the straights on the Skytrain."
"Wow. Sleeping on a packed bus. That's an enviable gift."
"It's probably best not to think too hard about that smell."
"On the 'cryptic and disturbing' scale, between 1 and 10, I give the people on the bus an 8. I give the ads a 10."
"I really believe in public transit, but it's a lot easier to believe in it when I'm not on it."
"Remember that time The Don was riding this route and a junkie threw up on him?"
"It's getting harder not to think about that smell."
"What terrible series of decisions has led us all to this place?"


Tamara said...

The crazy old person of indeterminate sex I accidentally sat next to on the bus this morning smelled so strongly of urine, I had to get up and move. Twice.

Dave said...

Last week on the bus, two teenage kids sit down behind me:

T1: Where did you go after class? You totally disappeared.
T2: I had a shower.
T1: Ewww! You're disgusting!
T2: How am I disgusting?
T1: What kind of person showers at school?
T2: ... a clean person?

Anonymous said...

Mine is usually 'can we please fucking go already? What the fuck are we just sitting here for?' followed by 'lemmeofflemmeofflemmeofflemmeoff'.

Of course, if I never rode the bus (which, in my next life, I won't) I wouldn't overhear some of the most amazing conversations ever. Stepdads beating date rapists nearly to death in deserted mall parking lots, loud girls who spend $1200 on resin dolls from Japan and the friends who barely conceal their loathing and, of course, what kind of sex that spindly 14-year-old is having with his incredibly trashy 17-year-old girlfriend. I don't know, that's better than TV, right there.

swatcher, polish-ranger said...

HA. Sounds like a typical East Van bus ride and reminds me of my daily trips on the #8. My b/f likes to take the bus home after a late night downtown specifically for the stories to tell the next day.

Unknown said...

"I really believe in public transit, but it's a lot easier to believe in it when I'm not on it."

Hell yes.

Jeane said...

I used to ride public transit in San Francisco, it was my sole means of getting around. It was often amusing and disturbing! The worst I ever encountered was sitting near (and moving away from) a man who had a hand wrapped in a dirty rag loudly talking about how he'd stabbed his thumb on a broken bedspring and had to go to hospital, did we all think it was infected? and proceeded to unwrap his (yes, very infected) thumb! Ugh.

Mary Soderstrom said...

Hey, public transportation is the only way. I even wrote a short story collection which had a working title was "Tales for the 80 Bus" which those of you who are familiar with Montreal, know travels Park Avenue from downtown to the Metropolitan. Too esoteric the publisher decided, so it's called "The Truth Is."

My sister used to avoid conversations with nutbars on Seattle buses by always being connected to her walkman (these were pre-iPod days) even when the batteries on her machine were dead.

Good riding.


Anonymous said...

Once I overheard a conversation between a couple teens in which one teen was regaling the other about how when he had sex with his girlfriend, he didn't have a condom. His friend responded "Maybe it'll come out black!" and laughed, leading me to think maybe he'd gotten an STD and that was some gross description. Nope--turns out, she got pregnant (go figure), and was going to keep the baby. The good advice his idiot friend gave? "Well, you should just get her really high, punch her in the stomach, or push her down the stairs. That'll solve all your problems."

I mourn for youth today.

... said...

Oh, sweetheart! I have five words for you: THE NUM BER THREE MAIN

It is obscene to me that people actually line up and pay for this experience. On the bus ride home today some lady started hollering that everyone with a cell phone must call Translink and complain! So, I picked up my cell phone and checked my messages.

I hate everyone. Thanks #3. Thanks for killing the small part of me that still cared about the environment.