Tuesday, August 01, 2006

BOOKS: The Stuart Little Question, Resolved

As an addendum to my previous post, in which the issue of Stuart Little being born via the human reproductive system came up, I offer you the following passage from the very beginning of the book:
When Mrs. Frederick C. Little's second son arrived, everyone noticed that he was not much bigger than a mouse. The truth of the matter was, the baby looked very much like a mouse in every way. He was only about two inches high; and he had a mouse's sharp nose, a mouse's tail, a mouse's whiskers, and the pleasant, shy manner of a mouse. Before he was not too many days old, he was not only looking like a mouse but acting like one, too--wearing a gray hat and carrying a small cane. Mr. and Mrs. Little named him Stuart, and Mr. Little made him a tiny bed out of four clothespins and a cigarette box.

Unlike most babies, Stuart could walk as soon as he was born. When he was a week old, he could climb lamps by shinnying up the cord. Mrs. Little saw right away that the infant clothes she had provided were unsuitable, and she set to work and made him a fine little blue worsted suit with patch pockets in which he could keep his handkerchief, his money, and his keys.

Every morning, before Stuart dressed, Mrs. Little went into his room and weighed him on a small scale which was really meant for weighing letters. At birth Stuart could have been sent by first class mail for three cents, but his parents preferred to keep him rather than send him away; and when, at the age of a month, he had gained only a third of an ounce, his mother was so worried she sent for the doctor.

The doctor was delighted with Stuart and said that it was very unusual for an American family to have a mouse.
So. As you can see, the vagina issue is glossed over, but the answer is there. In the subtext. Or possibly the sub-subtext.

This passage raises puzzling new questions, though, such as this one: Is wearing a gray hat and carrying a small cane considered natural behaviour for a mouse?

17 comments:

Doppelsis said...

Does this mean that it is common in other countries to have mice born from vaginas?

Doppelganger said...

Well, you know how Europeans are. Particularly the Belgians. Weirdos, the lot of them.

Smurfette said...

Um, was Stuart two feet high, or two inches? Because a two foot high mouse (or baby) is very disturbing, and he would be completely unable to fit in that matchbox. Even at two inches, it might be a tight fit, depending on the size of the matchbox.

Doppelganger said...

Whoops! Corrected. Thanks, Smurfette. That's what happens when I combine blogging with drunken bingeing.

Glark said...

I hope the father was the mouse...

Diablevert said...

You know, peeps, spiders can't spell neither. Apparently y'all can dredge up a mental picture of a pig dropping his jaw to realease 1,000 flying spider babies and think only, "Awwwwwwww." But a simple little live mouse birth and it's wrinkled noses and shudders all round. I tsk your filthy, literal-minded inability to handle a little understated whimsy with a dash of surrealism. I tsk it firmly!

Besides, if you really want to gross your self out, google image "teratoma" sometime.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teratoma

Wide Lawns Subservient Worker said...

Clearly Stuart was also born an adult as well. How many toddlers do you know who wear a suit and carry a cane?

Michelle said...

People, people, I'm with diablevert - willing suspension of disbelief. The Mouse and the Motorcycle didn't really ride a motorcycle. There's no freakin' wizards school in England. Just go with it. I was actually a little pissed that they changed it to an adoption in the movie, although I guess the only reason I saw it was the Hugh Laurie content...

Doppelganger said...

I don't know what "teratoma" means, but I know that I'm way too chickenshit to check it out.

And for the record, I'd just like to emphasize that it was RUSTY, not I, who had the suspension-of-disbelief problem. This from a man who reads Frank Herbert. If ever a man deserved a sound tsk-ing, it's him.

Anna said...

I have no problem with the suspension of disbelief regarding a mouse being born to a human... BUT WHERE DID HE GET THE CANE AND GREY SUIT FROM? WAS HE BORN WITH THEM, TOO? Because clearly, the mother only realised AFTERWARDS that the baby clothes aren't going to work... and in the meantime he's quickstepping around town like the dapper gentleman that he is.

Posting on blogs when it's nearly 2am is NOT a good idea, I do apologise. I haven't been up this late for quite some time and it's doing funny things to me... I'm only 22, for chrissake.

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