I had this idea the other day, that it would be cool (according to my rather specialized definition of "cool") to have a blog whose entries would be composed only while the blogger was sitting on the toilet.
The entry topics wouldn't have to be about what toilet-related activities the blogger was engaged in, but would instead just convey the stream of consciousness one experiences in those few (or long) moments one spends blankly staring at the wall opposite. Some entries would be enticingly brief. Others, tragically long.
Then I thought, man, this is SUCH a great idea. This blog MUST already exist. So I did a Google search for "toilet blog" (should I, in the interest of full disclosure, also reveal that I did this Google search while on the toilet? Isn't this why laptops and wireless modems were invented? Is it too late for me to take this piece of information back?), and believe it or not, THIS BLOG DOESN'T EXIST. There is currently no toilet blog that I could locate (at least not in my mercifully short search).
Sure, a blogger named Mark Maynard had a similar idea, only his involved having a blog "guestbook" in his bathroom, but to my knowledge his idea is still in the theoretical phase.
And a blogger named Wendy Cheng caused a semi-major flap in southeast Asia when she wrote an entry about something to do with sharing public washrooms with the handicapped. If nothing else, this is worth checking out just to see all the egregiously overwrought headline puns, including "All flushed over toilet blog" and "Toilet blog whips up more stink." I looked to see if anyone used "Toilet blogger full of crap" -- which is the header I would have used -- but apparently they missed that one. Their loss.
And another blogger, at a site called Verbatim, wrote my favourite find in my search, an entry entitled "Selected Recent Entries from My Toilet's Blog," which includes posts such as this:
Thursday April 7And some company has some sort of informational blog about their composting toilets, called Envirolets (note to overly earnest people everywhere: you are not good at inventing catchy brand names), but I died of boredom and came back reincarnated as a hippie after just reading the brief description of the site on Google, so I didn't bother clicking.
I've had it! I'm sorry, but this is just too much. I'm just as jazzed about potty-training as the next toilet, but HELLO? She still needs help with the wiping, OK? Sorry, I just had to vent.
So there you go. Toilet blog. I give it to you. Run with it.