Tuesday, January 31, 2006

ETC: Yeah, I'd Pay to See Halle Berry Hock up a Hairball

Catwoman. Have you seen this movie? It's so unrelentingly, aggressively bad. It's like the Showgirls of superhero movies. But it was on TV the other night, and nothing else was on, and the rain was, as they say, pissing down outside, so we weren't motivated to go rent something. And we were kind of sick of talking, which doesn't happen very often, admittedly, but even we have our moments. So we watched Catwoman.

Overheard in our living room:
"Why's she wearing a Starfleet uniform?"

"That's total crap. Cats can't play basketball worth shit."

"When does she take an 18-hour nap?"

"When does she stare at an empty wall for an hour?"

"When does she hock up a giant hairball?"

"I'd love to see Halle Berry hock up a hairball."

"They could sell tickets."

"I'd buy one."

"When does she lick her butt?"

"When does she claw the rug?"

"When does she claw the rug
and then take a giant dump on it?"

"I hate this movie."

"I hate our cats."


Joie de Vivre said...

While I still wouldn't mind the buckets of money which come with stardom, this is perfect example of why I'm content in my little life: no one got ripped off b/c s/he paid to see my Worst Professional Decision Ever nor is it playing over and over to the general masses on television. I'm happy that the audience for my life's disasters is much smaller and no one immortalizes these mistakes by filming them and releasing for world-wide distribution!

landismom said...

Here's what I imagine the pitch meeting for this movie was like:

"Halle Berry. She gets all buff and wears torn leather."

Hell, I probably would've greenlighted it myself.

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