I didn't stab her in the eye with my wand. I WANTED to. I talked about doing so VERY FUCKING LOUDLY. I was going to eviscerate her mother with the cover of my brand-new copy.Duuuude... it's just a book.*
(Link courtesy of Bookslut)
*Since I first wrote this post, it looks like the piece I linked to has now been password-protected by its owner. Awww... sorry if you missed it. It was pretty damn funny.