Wednesday, June 14, 2006

ETC: I Am Trying to Have a Positive Attitude toward the World Cup

I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.
I am trying to have a positive attitude toward the World Cup.

Reasons for:
  • Only happens every four years.
  • Soccer is actually a pretty cool sport.
  • Global cameraderie, world coming together in sport, good fellowship among men, etc.

Reasons against:
  • Lasts too goddamned long.
  • Large groups of men gathered together = not a good idea due to collective loss of IQ points.
  • Tendency of people who live in other parts of city to congregate in my neighbourhood because they want to become (temporarily) ethnic by osmosis.
  • Tendency of same people to forget that not everyone shares their love of egregious noisemaking at all hours, and to ignore the fact that they'd never tolerate this level of hullaballoo in their own posher neighbourhoods.
  • Tendency of same to gather in my favourite coffee shop and park themselves right in front of the bar, thereby preventing me from ordering my much-needed mocha. Ironically, my need for said coffee is precipitated by having been woken up at 6:00 am by soccer revellers such as themselves. (Admittedly, Sam was probably going to wake me up at 6:15, but it's the PRINCIPLE, people.)
  • Brazilian drum band, clearly amateur in origin, that has set up impromptu shop outdoors just three houses from mine. (I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise that the people who brought us ass-waxing also brought us really terrible drumming. Note to wannabe drummers: The reason why drums are popular at raves and UNpopular everywhere else is because Ecstasy makes it hard for you to hate things with the venom they rightfully deserve.)
  • Guy with airhorn in front of my house, who seemed surprised when I went outside and told him to stop because he'd woken up my baby.
  • And let's not forget the most powerful reason of all: don't really give a crap who wins.

9 comments:

Bloo said...

Is "Turning Doppelganger into Bridget Jones soundalike" a reason for, or against?

Alice said...

It could be worse. You could be living in England.

The world here is already pretty much stopping for England games - I've just had a date next week rescheduled because there was a game. And it's still early. I can't even imagine what it'll be like if England does well.

Doppelganger said...

But I've heard that's the civilized thing about England. You're sensible enough to only get excited about your own games. Rather than EVERY SINGLE BLOODY TIME A BALL TOUCHES THE GROUND.

Er. Excuse me.

Is "Turning Doppelganger into Bridget Jones soundalike" a reason for, or against?

Jesus. I knew there was a reason why I was giving myself deja vu. Freaky.

Mary said...

I'm right there with you. I really tried to like soccer - the rest of the world apparently is crazy about it, so maybe I should give it some attention.

I tried, I really did. But, the field is just too damn big and if there is strategy (which, I'm sure there is and it's my own stupid fault I'm not getting it) it is lost on me. They really need to take a page from basketball - shrink that field and speed these games up! (This crap about scoring only one or two points in a game? Crap. Let's see a score of 89-87 for some real drama!)

And, I'm a huge Nascar fan - I do have a high tolerance for tedium! Soccer just pushes past my limits I guess.

I feel a little guilty about my lack-of-soccer-interest, and I'm sure it is my own deficiencies that make me this way. But, I have happily kicked soccer to the curb in my life. And, thankfully, although everyone in my neighborhood is Mexican/Central American (except me), there are not wild World Cup parties here!

Em said...

Well, I only give a crap about the games involving the Netherlands.
At work, there's a big-screen in the corner of the shop, (as far away from the serving counter as possible, mind you,) and they show whatever game is currently on. I think it was Germany/Poland today. Some co-worker said they thought Germany had scored against Poland. I muttered something about "where have I seen Germany schooling Poland before? Oh, right, *cough*World War Two*cough*."
My supervisor was a bit frosty after that. :\ Hope she's not Polish. I love the Poles. Really.

Meepers said...

Love this one! It is a bit like B. Jones, but only in the best of ways. We have a fair amount of rabid football fans here in our bit of the States, but thankfully no air horns. WTF was that guy thinking? Waking Young Master Sam is just. not. done.

theaudball said...

You are exactly right. It's the same for me, except that instead of a coffee shop, my high school's hallways are congested by hoardes of sweaty teenage boys and male teachers for whom the tvs seem to have been set up exclusively to watch the world cup. Stupid world cup.

Cataclysm said...

Too right my friend Doppleganger! You might have missed the street fight between 2 soccor lads outside our local bagel store that shut down one direction of the Drive at about 2 pm yesterday, and the swarm of Trinidad & Tobago fans who shouted insults at a passerby wearing an England shirt at 9:30 am this morning.

And my darling Brit husband was almost too nervous this morning to change a diaper! Now seriously!! Does he want to still be married after July 9th?!

I did read about a hotel in London UK offering a 'footie-free' weekend special such at any staff mentioning anything about soccor entitles the guest to a free drink! Sounds pretty good to me!!

Nina said...

I totally agree with you. Especially about the brazilian drum players.
And I am brazilian.




Btw, I do NOT ass-wax; few people here actually do this kind of thing.