Thursday, November 01, 2007

I'm Back, Large (Very Large) and in Charge

Since this is the first day of NaBloPoMo, I thought I'd kick things off by, you know, posting on my blog. You may recall that I made a heroic attempt to do this last year, and failed ON THE THIRD-TO-LAST DAY for the twin reasons that Rusty and I were out of town and I'm a dumbass.

So let's get the party started with an announcement: Yes, I'm pregnant.

Thanks so much to those of you who posted or emailed me with your hopeful congratulations after my not-so-cryptic previous post. You guys are so sweet. In retrospect, I realize how obvious my mention of pending big news was. I mean, how many top-secret, big-big-SUPER-BIG announcements does your average middle-class person make in their lifetime? If you're already married, that pretty much leaves just the one. I guess it could've been a shocking surprise -- I just realized I'm gay! I'm joining the army! I'm secretly a conservative! -- but I'm not that interesting.

If you're wondering, the baby -- to whom I like to refer as Doppelganger Junior, aka DJ -- is due sometime around the middle of March, which puts me squarely at the halfway point of this pregnancy. How's that for keeping a secret, huh?

So now that we're not keeping secrets any more, here are three full-disclosure things I will tell you about me and pregnancy:
  1. Hormones can turn even the most mild-mannered -- or, if not mild-mannered, so passive-aggressive as to SEEM mild-mannered -- person into a total psycho hosebag. To wit, the day Rusty came home from work early because he'd made the mistake of calling me midday to say hi, only to have a blubbering, incoherent freak answer the phone. Said freak (okay, it was me) was unable to make him understand that really, no, REALLY, nothing was wrong, so he rushed home. Why all the hoo-haw? Because the neighbour's lawnmower had woken me from a (clearly much-needed) nap.

    You know that "glow" people are always saying we pregnant folk have? That glow is the sweetly unadulterated incandescence of batshit craziness.

  2. I secretly love maternity clothes, especially those jeans with the full panel that goes practically up to your sternum. I'm sorry, but you are just never going to find comfort like that with regular pants. And the skirts? Oh my god, they're the closest thing to feeling like you're walking around naked. Admittedly, I don't think the phrase "Man, those maternity jeans make your ass looks FABULOUS" has ever been uttered by human lips, but I can live with that.

    (Important addendum: Yes, I love maternity clothes. ON PREGNANT PEOPLE. I don't know what young ladies these days are thinking. Back when I had a waist, I wasn't hiding it underneath empire waistlines and trapeze jackets. But hey, whatever, that's your nevermind. You're making my clothes shopping easier.)

  3. God or Mother Nature (or whatever deity you prefer to abuse when you swear) has cursed me with perhaps the cruellest trick that he/she/it has ever played: Though my early-pregnancy nausea has finally passed, I'm left with a complete aversion to chocolate. Which, if you know me, you know how devastating a blow this is. When I was pregnant with Sam, we were both giddy and drunk off the kilos of chocolate and chocolate-related products we consumed regularly... which could explain the sixty glorious pounds I gained. Can little DJ show some similar cooperation? Noooooo... he/she's all like, "Mm-mmm, I sure could go for a nice refreshing SALAD right about now." I'd better get something really friggin' good for Mother's Day.
So that's my big secret. And now, if you have any secrets and you've read this far, I think it's only fair that you share.

34 comments:

Joy said...

congrats! what great news. and thanks for posting again - I'd missed your notes! i discovered your blog during last november and your blog, along with lankerloksh, inspired me to finally start my own today. we'll see how it goes.

Mella DelPantano said...

Congratulations - I thought you'd been making some suspiciously plural comments over at AT:Nursery...

Emily said...

Congrats on the pregnancy! I think the only secret I've got has been revealed to most people in my life. My long-distance boyfriend and I split up in August and it finally came up at my knitting group that I go to every Thursday. I wasn't really offering this information up to anyone but my best friend and my sister. Anyone else found out when they asked about him and tonight was the first time he really came up since the break up. Good luck with NaBloPoMo, I'm in this year, too.

Tamara said...

Congratulations! But dude, no chocolate? Man, sucks to be pregnant around Halloween... I can't wait to see what kind of faces Young Master Sam's brother or sister will make.

Anonymous said...

You know what I hate most about being pregnant right now? Not being able to sit down with a cold drink after a loooong week at work.

This green tea's just not cutting it.

Does this mean Sam doesn't have to share his chocolate with you???

Anne-Marie

Jerrific said...

My dark and dirty secret. I love breakfast at McDonalds. Oh god it is so terrible for me, but I adore it.

I'm so ashamed.

Melissa said...

Oh, yay! I am so thrilled for you. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?

Secrets...hmm. I got nothin'. It's 2 am and I'm up with the baby, so forgive me. (But your baby will totally sleep!)

Karen said...

Oh, yay, MAZEL TOV! Wishing all the best to the whole family.

jagosaurus said...

Yay! I thought that might be the big secret as well. Congratulations!

Chanie said...

Congrats! I'm so dense, I didn't even guess. I thought it was something work related, like a book coming out or something like that.

But that's the best news ever! I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of this cutie.

Anna Rain said...

Hooray! Congratulations!

I am also secretly pregnant, and it's kind of a delicious feeling. No one knows why I have PMS at all times. They probably think it's early menopause.

Her Ladyship said...

Yay! Congrats!

My secrets go with me to the grave, though.

BabelBabe said...

Congratulations!
I have missed your posts.

I am NOT secretly pregnant. I am six months and there's NO hiding it now. But I too have this uncharacteristic aversion to chocolate. what IS that? woman cannot live on apples and grapes alone...pregnancy is so weird.

My deep dark secret? I sometimes actually even DRINK a beer, now that I am out of my first trimester. It's not an icy rum and coke, but it sure tastes good.

Alice said...

Congratulations! That's great news!

Anonymous said...

Congrats from a long time reader first time commenter!!!

I bet you didn't know you had all these pregnant readers hanging around. I'm 17 weeks right now and luckily have no aversion to chocolate. But my baby has been craving a lot of fruit lately too which I guess isn't the worst thing.

Laura said...

Hooray! Congratulations! I'm excited about NaBloPoMo, too!

roughmagic said...

Congratulations! Can't wait to hear what Sam has to say about the news. Mid-March is the awesomest time to give birth -- you get to have all that cozy baby weight right during the months you need it.
A favorite memory of my pregnancy was the taste of the precious glasses of red wine I got to savor on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my birthday. I made sure they were the most expensive bottles in the house or on the menu!

anna said...

Many congratulations!

And maybe it will make you feel better that it didn't even occur to me. I was just all BIG EXCITING NEWS? Cool.

My secret is... I am going to quit work in the next two months and go on a mega jaunt around the USA and Canada. On my own.

(A secret because I sort of haven't mentioned to work that another person is leaving! Right now! When all the disasters are happening! Awesome!)

Oh and also! I haven't posted in my blog for aaaages and I thought I'd do this nablo thingammy, and I have failed to post on the first day. AWESOME!

RandomRanter said...

Congrats!

Alex said...

I'll come out of lurkdom to say congratulations! That's great!

It's so cool to see you blogging again, especially with a good excuse like NaBloPoMo.

hannah said...

Oh I'm so glad that you're back and really looking forward to the rest of November!

Of course, HOORAY for the great news!

hannah said...

Oh yeah, I forgot! My secret: I totally collect New Kids on the Block trading cards.

There. Now you know. Tell all your friends.

emjaybee said...

Wow, the chocolate thing happened to me too, along with meat. I never did get my liking for meat back all the way.

He's 2 now. Still doesn't like chocolate or meat. Crazy kid!

Hilda said...

YAY! Congratulations! How fun - but no chocolate?

picklewagner said...

I'm kind of a lurker here, but we're due at about the same time, so I want to say Congratualtions! And, I'm so sorry about the chocolate... but I secretly wish I was having the same aversion because I'm eating way too much of the stuff.

Stacy said...

Ooooo! Congrats to you, Rusty & Sam! My girfriend suddenly found herself pregnant this summer and hasn't been able to eat anything tomatoey. No pasta, no tomatoes, no bloody marys. Zilch. She was in Florence for October and said it was hell. She's sad and angry about it and blames the father. ;)

Congrats again!!

Lisa said...

Another pregnant lurker here- I just told my secret last week. I'm a bit behind you at 13 weeks. This baby likes things sour and apples.

My secret? The lunch my husband just cooked wasn't NEARLY as good as I said it was.

Miss Hacksaw said...

Ha! I am due two week after you and delurking to agree loudly that the 'pregnant glow' thing is indeed a myth. Congratulations!

b*babbler said...

Wow! A huge congratulations. I, too, was dense and thought it was a book thing or something. Yah, dumb me...

But no chocolate? Nooooo

landismom said...

Belated congrats! I'm so happy for you!

Except for the chocolate part. That sucks.

And where are the Sam Halloween pics, btw!

Dave said...

Awesome news! If it's a boy, name him Caliban. If it's a girl, I give you first dibs on Goneril.

Doppelganger said...

Hey, thanks so much for all the good wishes, everybody! You guys are the swellest. And I had no idea there were so many secretly knocked-up folks among us. Congratulations to all of you! You have to let us know when your little ones arrive, okay?

It's good to hear other people's secrets, too. But Jerrific and Hannah? I think you both have some deep soul-searching to do. Look within.

And Dave, we've already kind of got our hearts set on either Falstaff or Lady Macbeth, but we'll take your suggestions under advisement.

Steph said...

Congratulations!
I am scouring my brain for a good secret. Your announcement makes me wish I was pregnant.

Beth said...

Wow! Congrats! That's such awesome news!

My secret is that I'm waaaaay behind on my blog reading since having gone to Vegas at the start of the month, hence the late late late posting.

Also, I'm secretly jealous of all your pregnancies!! I think, after reading these comments, it is official that everyone on earth is pregnant except me. Of course, I'm not trying, but still.