Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Three Reasons Why the Baby Toe Is Utterly Useless

1. It serves no purpose other than sticking out and waiting to be injured.
2. It causes a disproportionate -- and some might say ostentatious -- amount of pain for its size.

3. Even at the best of times, it looks weird.


And bonus reason #4:
It goes wee-wee-wee all the way home, like a total pussy.

9 comments:

Emily said...

I'm 8 months pregnant and broke my pinky toe about a month ago. It was awful. No drugs because of the pregnancy, and it HURT a LOT, but I felt ridiculous complaining and going to the doctor because I had (in essence) stubbed my pinky toe. I feel your pain.

Doppelganger said...

Thank you! This toe hurts like a friggin' mofo, and I need all the validation I can get... though of course I'm sorry it had to come at the expense of your own toe. You have my full, if retroactive, sympathy.

You know, I'm not normally a klutz, but I'd forgotten what a spaz I become when pregnant. Now I'm all paranoid about door jambs and chair legs. And of course every single creature in this house has seen fit to step on my foot today.

Meg said...

In college, I broke my pinky toe on one of the cinder blocks that gave my roommate some extra storage space. It was a delayed reaction, but when the pain set in, it fucking huuurt.

Congrats on the pregnancy (to you too, Emily). I have three. My two youngest are about three years apart, and it works rather well. My two oldest are two years and 10 days apart, and it has some pluses, but the fighting is horrible. You've got a nice spread to work with.

(Though all of this does make me feel even worse about my role in your trip to heck)

Margolicious1 said...

Though I am *loathe* to correct...I have it on good authority that the big toe and the pinky toe are the ONLY toes of any importance. Apparently they play heavily in the balance and bearing of the rest of the body. The middle three could take a breeze without any further consequence, but if you lose track of the first or fifth toes you are in BIG TROUBLE. As in STUMBLING ABOUT and FALLING DOWN kind of trouble. And who needs to be needlessly accused of inebriation? So feel what you may about it, but the pinky toe deserves our props as well as respect. That is all. :)

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Anonymous said...

Long time reader first time commentor. Congrats on the new baby! Way to keep a secret.

I agree, stubbing the baby toe does leave any resonable person with the mindset of a sick male (i.e. wingeing baby.) you could always hit your funny bone on something and hope the resulting pain cancels out the toe pain. Just a thought.

Hey, It's Ansley said...

It's like a paper cut for your lower half. Hurts way more than it should for the size of the digit involved or evidence of damage.

Congrats on the pregnacy!

JK said...

you are absolutely hilarious...

Anonymous said...

ok, i'm trying to look up the answer to this question and, as stupid as it is, it's BUGGING MEEEE!! Why is the little toe called a "baby toe"?? i looked up the reasoning of why the little finger is called a pinkie (it's from the dutch language apparently. "pink" in dutch means little finger, and when this was adopted by the english speaking scots and americans, it became "pinkie", in american english it's spelled with a "y", scots with and "ie"..mm.. too much info huh? sorry) sooo WHY's it called a baby toe??