Friday, May 02, 2008

Why You Should Never Discuss the Classics with Preschoolers

"Why did Moby Dick want to wreck the Pequod?"
"Well, maybe it was because the Pequod hunted whales, and he didn't want to be hunted."
"Why did the Pequod hunt whales?"
"Because a long time ago, people used oil from whales for their lights and things."
"Why did they use oil from whales?"
"People hadn't discovered electricity yet. Remember when we talked about how lights use electricity?"
"Why didn't people discover electricity yet?"
"I guess because it just hadn't occurred to them."
"Why?"
"Well, I don't know. What do you think?"
"No, what do YOU think?"
"I'm kind of stumped, actually."
"Why are you stumped, actually?"
And then my head exploded. The end.

(This post would not have been possible without this fabulous pop-up edition of Moby-Dick, given to Sam by our good friend Shona. It's making me reconsider my hard-line stance against reading the unexpurgated version.)

6 comments:

Ms Molly said...

I would love to see someone conduct a Turing Test where you have to decide if it's an Elizabot or a four year old answering the questions.

landismom said...

Ha! That would be a great Turing test!

Gabrielle said...

Just when you think your head couldn't possibly explode again, it does.

K said...

Keep your hard line stance - the pop-up version is probably far more exciting. I dragged myself through the book whilst at University and would happily have lobbed it at my professors head!

raincoaster.com said...

VLADIMIR:
We have to come back tomorrow.
ESTRAGON:
What for?
VLADIMIR:
To wait for Godot.
ESTRAGON:
Ah! (Silence.) He didn't come?
VLADIMIR:
No.
ESTRAGON:
And now it's too late.
VLADIMIR:
Yes, now it's night.
ESTRAGON:
And if we dropped him? (Pause.) If we dropped him?
VLADIMIR:
He'd punish us. (Silence. He looks at the tree.) Everything's dead but the tree.
ESTRAGON:
(looking at the tree). What is it?
VLADIMIR:
It's the tree.
ESTRAGON:
Yes, but what kind?
VLADIMIR:
I don't know. A willow...

amy said...

I'm just so happy to learn that there is a pop-up Moby Dick! What a good world.